Introduction
Ever had to physically clamp your hand over your mouth to stop the words from tumbling out? Welcome to the inner circus of the neurodivergent brain, where thoughts gallop, opinions leap, and silence feels like betrayal.
I get it. I’m that woman.
I’ve sat in meetings, family dinners, and WhatsApp groups, desperate to throw in my two-pence piece or ten. Not because I love the sound of my own voice (although I won’t deny it’s got charm), but because I feel things deeply. When something seems off, my soul starts a protest march with placards saying, “Speak now, or forever regret it.”
But over time and with some bruised relationships and exhausted vocal cords, I’ve realised something radical:
Sometimes, silence is strategy.
Not suppression. Not self-abandonment. Strategy.
Let me explain.
Why oversharing and interrupting are common for ADHD and autistic adults
For many neurodivergent folks (and yes, I’m looking at you, ADHDers, Autistics, AuDHDers and the whole beautiful crew), speaking up isn’t about ego. It’s about integrity. Truth-telling. Justice. Connection. That moment when your brain spots the missing piece of a puzzle and you have to say it out loud before the moment escapes.
But when you’re constantly feeling the urge to speak, especially to correct, clarify, or contribute, you’re in danger of:
- Overloading others
- Sounding defensive or dominant
- Being misunderstood or dismissed
- Burning bridges unintentionally
And the worst bit? You walk away thinking, “I shouldn’t have said that,” followed by the encore of shame and overanalysis.
The difference between infodumping and oversharing
Let’s talk tactics. One of mine is physical: I literally put my hand over my mouth. It may look dramatic, but it buys me five seconds. Five seconds to ask:
- Is this helpful right now?
- Am I reacting or responding?
- Will silence serve me more powerfully here?
That pause often saves me from an emotional hangover.
It’s not about silencing your truth, it’s about deciding when and how it’s best received.
When silence is not the best policy
Let’s be clear—this is not a blanket prescription for silence. Sometimes you must speak. Especially if:
- A boundary is being crossed
- Someone is being harmed
- You’re being gaslit or ignored
- You’re in a position of leadership or responsibility
Neurodivergent voices are needed. Desperately. But impact matters more than intent. We want to be heard, not just loud.
So how do we find that sweet spot between oversharing and self-erasing?
Self-help strategies to manage the urge to interrupt or overshare
1. The 5-second rule
Before you speak, count to five. In your head, of course. Let the wave pass. If the urgency remains, then go for it. If not, give yourself a gold star.
2. “Let me write that down” technique
If you’re in a meeting or conversation, jot the thought in a notebook or app. That act of capturing it calms the urgency. You can always raise it later if it still feels relevant.
3. Post-conversation processing
Sometimes you don’t need to say the thing now, you need to write it, journal it, message a friend after. Your thoughts deserve a home, but that home doesn’t have to be every conversation.
4. Learn your “trigger topics”
We all have subjects that light us up or wind us up. Know yours. When they arise, signal to yourself, “OK, this is one of those moments. Tread thoughtfully.”
5. Rehearse neutral language
If you do need to jump in, try phrasing it with softness:
- “That’s an interesting point. May I add a thought?”
- “Would now be a good time to share something I’ve been thinking?”
- “I’m not sure I agree, but I’m open to hearing more.”
6. Use body anchors
Touch your fingertips together. Place your palm over your chest. Grip a pen. Redirect the impulse into physical grounding.
7. Give yourself a “quota”
This one’s cheeky but helpful. Tell yourself, “I can interrupt twice this meeting.” It makes you more selective, and more impactful when you do.
8. Seek out low-stakes spaces to vent
Find your people—Facebook groups, support communities, ND forums. Let off steam there. You’ll be heard, understood, and better able to hold your peace elsewhere.
External support resources
Here are a few excellent places to explore for more help and connection:
- ADHD UK Peer Support – free sessions and forums
- NeuroClastic – Autistic voices, articles and lived experience stories
- The Neurodivergent Coach – 1:1 coaching and self-regulation tools
- Understood.org – ND-friendly tools, work support and community
What I want you to know
You’re not “too much.” You’re not broken. You’re not bad at socialising.
You’re wired to engage deeply, think quickly, and feel things at full volume. That’s a gift. The trick is learning when to speak so your voice carries, not clashes.
You’re allowed to want space and grace.
And while putting a hand over your mouth might not look like progress, sometimes it’s the most revolutionary act of self-mastery.
How do you manage the urge to overshare or interrupt in conversations? Share your strategies and experiences below.
*This image is AI-generated with prompts made by me and serves no educational purpose, it is only used to highlight certain aspects of this article.
