# The Mesij > Be curious before you become certain ## Posts - [Autism Isn’t Manipulation-Proof](https://readthemesij.com/autism-isnt-manipulation-proof/): Moving Beyond the Myth of Perfect Innocence Right, let’s talk about something that doesn’t seem to get talked about nearly enough. Autistic people need accountability too. And before somebody starts clutching their pearls, I’m not talking about abusing children or punishing somebody for being autistic. I’m talking about parents recognising that their autistic child is still a person who can learn right from wrong, understand boundaries, experience consequences and, importantly, grow into an adult who has to live with other people. And I’m not saying this from some ivory tower where I’ve never had to deal with it myself. I’m a... - [The ADHD Trap: Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Results](https://readthemesij.com/the-adhd-trap-too-many-ideas-not-enough-results/): I am fairly certain I could start a business whilst standing in a supermarket queue. All it takes is somebody complaining about a problem and my brain is off. Before I’ve even reached the checkout, I’ve identified a gap in the market, chosen a business name, designed a logo and worked out how much money it could potentially make. If given another ten minutes, I’d probably have a website planned and be mentally spending the profits. The ridiculous thing is that I know I’m not alone. Many neurodivergent people seem to possess an almost supernatural ability to spot opportunities. We see... - [Am I Judgemental or Just Fed Up?](https://readthemesij.com/am-i-judgemental-or-just-fed-up/): The older I get, the less patience I seem to have. Somebody starts telling me a story and within three minutes I’m already spotting the plot holes. Somebody promises the world and delivers absolutely nothing. Another person somehow finds themselves at the centre of every bit of workplace drama whilst maintaining they are merely an innocent bystander. Before long, I’m sitting there wondering whether I’ve become judgemental or whether I’ve simply reached an age where my tolerance for nonsense has quietly packed its bags and left the building. The strange thing is that I don’t actually think I’m a particularly nasty... - [Why Were So Many Children in My Mum's Group Autistic?](https://readthemesij.com/why-were-so-many-children-in-my-mums-group-autistic/): Many years ago, I joined an online mums’ group. We were all expecting babies around the same time and, like many new parents, shared everything from sleepless nights and feeding dramas to first words, first steps and school milestones. As the years passed, life naturally took us in different directions. Some members remained active on Facebook while others quietly disappeared. Every now and then, however, I would see an update from one of the mums and notice something interesting. A surprisingly large number of the children had been diagnosed as autistic. I’m not talking about one or two children. I mean... - [Asperger's vs Autism: What Are We Really Arguing About?](https://readthemesij.com/aspergers-vs-autism-what-are-we-really-arguing-about/): I’ve been watching the Asperger’s versus autism debate for a while now and I can’t help feeling that people are arguing about the wrong thing. Officially, Asperger’s was folded into Autism Spectrum Disorder over a decade ago. The science has largely moved on. The diagnostic manuals have moved on. Yet some people are still passionately defending the Asperger’s label, while others insist it should be left firmly in the past. Which raises an interesting question. If Asperger’s and autism are now considered part of the same spectrum, why does this conversation still provoke such strong reactions? Because let’s be honest. Nobody... - [Why Smart Men Sometimes Look Clueless](https://readthemesij.com/why-smart-men-sometimes-look-clueless/): Every woman knows the feeling. The washing basket is overflowing. The bin is one yoghurt pot away from becoming a health hazard. There are three empty milk cartons in the fridge. Yet somehow your husband walks straight past every single one as though they are completely invisible. By this point, you have convinced yourself he must be either blind, lazy, stupid, or all three. Then he sits down and explains how to fix the Wi-Fi, remembers a phone number from 1994, and solves a problem you’ve been battling with for three days. So what on earth is going on? As someone... - [ADHD Anger: The Damage Nobody Talks About](https://readthemesij.com/adhd-anger-the-damage-nobody-talks-about/): Over the years, I have noticed something that keeps appearing in neurodivergent circles, and if I am honest, it has left me scratching my head more than once. Every now and then I come across somebody who seems permanently angry. Not somebody having a bad day. Not somebody going through a difficult period. I mean people who seem to carry anger around with them like an extra limb. The world has wronged them. Their partner doesn’t understand them. Their boss is impossible. Their friends are disappointing. There always seems to be a battle taking place somewhere. The strange thing is that... - [Autism Didn't Exist In My Day](https://readthemesij.com/autism-didnt-exist-in-my-day/): One of my favourite conversations is when somebody confidently announces that autism didn’t exist when they were young. Five minutes later they’re explaining how they’ve eaten the same breakfast since 1978, refuse to answer unexpected phone calls, know every railway route in Britain, and become visibly distressed if somebody moves their favourite chair. At which point I find myself wondering whether autism didn’t exist, or whether nobody recognised it. Now before anybody reaches for the pitchforks, this isn’t an attack on older generations. Quite the opposite. I find the whole thing fascinating because if you’ve spent any amount of time around... - [Perimenopause Brain Fog: The Symptom That Terrified Me Most](https://readthemesij.com/perimenopause-brain-fog-the-symptom-that-terrified-me-most/): There are plenty of perimenopause symptoms that nobody warns you about. The random rage. The anxiety. The insomnia. The feeling that your body has suddenly decided to freelance without consulting you first. But none of them frightened me quite as much as brain fog. Before perimenopause, I prided myself on having a sharp memory. I could remember phone numbers from years ago. Conversations from months earlier. Random facts that served absolutely no purpose other than proving my brain was still firing on all cylinders. Then something changed. At first it was small things. Walking into rooms and forgetting why. Losing my... - [Why Do I Get Bad Vibes From Some People?](https://readthemesij.com/why-do-i-get-bad-vibes-from-some-people/): Have you ever met someone who technically hasn’t done anything wrong, yet your brain files them under “absolutely not” within three minutes? No evidence. No witness statements. No CCTV footage. Just a vibe. An irritating little feeling that follows you around like a fly at a barbecue. Now before anyone starts accusing me of thinking I’m psychic, let’s calm down. I lose my phone while holding it. I walk into rooms and immediately forget why I’m there. And only last week I reheated the same cup of tea twice because I kept forgetting to drink it. I am hardly Mystic Meg.... - [Autistic You Thought! Then The Odd Mind-Blowing Results](https://readthemesij.com/autistic-you-thought-then-the-odd-mind-blowing-results/): You spend years feeling different. Not quirky-different in a “collects novelty mugs” sort of way. Proper different. The kind where social situations feel faintly rehearsed, loud environments feel like psychological warfare, and other people seem to have received an invisible instruction manual you somehow missed. Then one day, everything clicks. You discover autism content online. Suddenly your entire life starts replaying itself through a completely different lens. The sensory overwhelm. The burnout. The masking. The exhaustion after pretending to be “normal”. The scripts in your head before every phone call. The lifelong feeling of standing slightly outside humanity while desperately trying... - [Men Surprisingly Diagnosed ADHD/Autistic Later in Life](https://readthemesij.com/men-surprisingly-diagnosed-adhd-autistic-later-in-life/): The Diagnosis You Never Saw Coming Imagine this. You’re 38. Your second marriage has just limped over the finish line. You’ve had more career changes than proper holidays, and your Saturday nights now involve doom-scrolling with a drink strong enough to remove varnish. Then one Tuesday afternoon, a doctor drops a bombshell. ADHD. Autism. Dyslexia. Possibly the full neurological buffet for dramatic effect. Suddenly, your life flashes before your eyes. Not in a cinematic montage with uplifting music, but in a chaotic compilation of broken promises, impulsive decisions, abandoned projects, forgotten birthdays, emotional shutdowns, and moments that still wake you at... - [Neurodivergent People Trigger Each Other: Why?](https://readthemesij.com/neurodivergent-people-trigger-each-other-why/): I was having a really fascinating conversation recently with someone who also had autism. At one point, they admitted something that felt almost socially illegal to say out loud. They confessed that sometimes they struggle more with certain neurodivergent people than neurotypical ones. Not because they lacked compassion.Not because they thought they were “better”.But because some interactions felt like trying to communicate across planets. They explained that some autistic or ADHD people they met seemed completely unlike them. Different communication depth. Different self-awareness. Different emotional intensity. Different conversational needs. And strangely, instead of creating comfort through shared experience, it sometimes created... - [Rare Menopause Symptoms Through an ADHD Lens](https://readthemesij.com/rare-menopause-symptoms-through-an-adhd-lens/): If you’ve been following my recent explorations into life with ADHD, you’ll know I’m endlessly fascinated by the strange crossroads where hormones and neurochemistry collide. Perimenopause, however, doesn’t politely arrive with a leaflet and a herbal tea. It storms in like an exhausted woman carrying six shopping bags, forgetting where she parked the car, while simultaneously crying because a yoghurt advert felt emotionally manipulative. What struck me most wasn’t simply the hot flushes or the forgetfulness. It was how many symptoms felt oddly familiar. Sensory overload. Brain fog. Restlessness. Emotional intensity. Menopause didn’t create these things in me. It turned the... - [10 Alternative Online Support Groups](https://readthemesij.com/10-nd-friendly-ai-therapy-support-apps/): For many neurodivergent folks, traditional therapy isn’t always the right fit. Long waitlists, awkward phone calls, and the fear of being misunderstood can make support feel miles away. That’s where AI therapy tools come in. Available anytime, they offer low-pressure, stigma-free space to explore your thoughts. Whether you need help untangling anxious spirals, tracking moods, or practising self-guided CBT, these apps provide structured support at your pace, without the small talk or fluorescent lighting. 1. Cogs AI Designed by neurodivergent individuals, Cogs AI offers tools to identify burnout signs, track daily stressors, and build personalized self-care routines. It includes features like... - [ADHD Is Trending. So Why Is Autism Still So Misunderstood?](https://readthemesij.com/adhd-is-trending-so-why-is-autism-still-so-misunderstood/): More people than ever are embracing the label ADHD. They say it out loud, own it and even joke about it. Social media is full of people laughing about forgotten appointments, abandoned hobbies and walking into a room only to forget why they went there in the first place. But autism? That’s a completely different conversation. For all the awareness campaigns and growing understanding, autism still seems to make people uncomfortable. It sits quietly in the corner like an awkward guest that nobody quite knows how to talk to. Perhaps that’s because ADHD has become relatable. It’s often presented as forgetfulness,... - [Midlife Relationship Crisis: She Struggles, He Runs](https://readthemesij.com/midlife-relationship-crisis-she-struggles-he-runs/): The Woman He Fell In Love With Is Still There There is a very uncomfortable conversation that more couples need to have. Not every affair begins because somebody “stopped loving” their partner. Sometimes it begins because one partner stopped understanding them. Or worse still, stopped trying. There seems to be a recurring pattern happening quietly behind closed doors in long-term relationships. Particularly during perimenopause. A woman reaches that stage where life suddenly becomes unbearably heavy. Not dramatic. Not lazy. Not “frigid”. Heavy. She is juggling ageing parents, teenagers, finances, work stress, invisible mental load, physical exhaustion, changing hormones, sleep deprivation and... - [Why Does Sex Suddenly Feel Irritating Instead of Exciting?](https://readthemesij.com/why-does-sex-suddenly-feel-irritating-instead-of-exciting/): From someone currently wondering how “spontaneous passion” became “absolutely not, I’ve just cleaned the kitchen.” There was once a time when sex felt exciting, playful, connecting, and occasionally athletic enough to qualify for a Fitbit achievement. Fast forward to midlife, and many women are now staring into the hormonal abyss wondering why the very things that once sparked desire suddenly feel irritating, exhausting, or about as appealing as assembling flat-pack furniture during a heatwave. And before anybody panics, no, this does not automatically mean your relationship is doomed, your femininity has evaporated, or you’ve become a cold-hearted swamp witch living entirely... - [The Ultimate Truth You Want To Know About Bedrotting](https://readthemesij.com/the-ultimate-truth-you-want-to-know-about-bedrotting/): The Moment It Clicks At some point, the internet decided we are no longer simply tired. We are now “rotting”, preferably in bed, and ideally with a phone in hand. Charming, isn’t it. The first time I heard the phrase, I pictured something vaguely medical. Perhaps a Victorian illness requiring smelling salts and dramatic fainting. Instead, it turns out to be something far more familiar and far less glamorous. It is that peculiar state where you remain in bed for hours, not out of indulgence, but because the idea of getting up feels oddly impossible. Not difficult. Not inconvenient. Impossible. And... - [The Truth About ADHD and Poor Decision Making](https://readthemesij.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-poor-decision-making/): There was a time I dated someone who ticked every red flag box. He owned a snake, which already felt like the universe issuing a polite warning. He believed hay fever was a government scam and quoted controversial “thinkers” like sacred scripture. Looking back, it all seems painfully obvious now. At the time though, I convinced myself I was simply being open-minded and accepting. In all actuality,  it was less enlightened tolerance and more exhausted loneliness mixed with questionable judgement. Eventually, my friends staged a gentle intervention over brunch, as good friends tend to do when they fear you may end... - [The Simplistic Way To Attract Money Without Chasing](https://readthemesij.com/the-simplistic-way-to-attract-money-without-chasing/): If you’re neurodivergent, you’ve probably spent a good portion of your life trying to “run the race” the way neurotypicals do. You’ve been told to grind harder, network more aggressively, and stay on that 9-to-5 treadmill until your legs give out. But for us, “the chase” isn’t just exhausting, it’s biologically expensive. When we chase money, we’re usually masking our true selves to fit a mold we think will pay. The result? We end up broke, burnt out, and staring at a wall for three days straight because our “executive function battery” is at 0%. I’m here to tell you there’s... - [Auditory Processing Disorder: When Hearing Isn’t the Problem](https://readthemesij.com/auditory-processing-disorder-when-hearing-isnt-the-problem/): You can hear perfectly well. Yet somehow, nothing makes sense. Words arrive like badly tuned radio signals, half formed and oddly timed. You nod. You smile. You say “sorry, what?” for the third time in one minute. Eventually, people stop repeating themselves. Eventually, they think you are rude. Or slow. Or not paying attention. This all began for me when my eight year old daughter said, very calmly, “Mummy, I can hear people but I don’t always know what they’re saying,” and suddenly the whole thing felt less theoretical and far more urgent. Welcome to the strange world of Auditory Processing... - [Learning to Let Go (When You Care Too Much)](https://readthemesij.com/learning-to-let-go-when-you-care-too-much/): Let it go, they say.Yeah, easier said than done, I say. When someone pokes the bear in you, there’s a moment you try to stay calm, to breathe, to remember your affirmations and resist the urge to write a strongly worded text. You tell yourself you can handle it. But if that same person keeps poking? Something snaps. You don’t roar or throw things, you just make that one passive-aggressive remark that says, “I’m fine,” but your face says, “I’m absolutely not fine.” Then comes the spiral. The guilt. The overthinking. You start asking the usual questions: Why can’t I just... - [Giving Up Alcohol and Weed With an ADHD Brain](https://readthemesij.com/giving-up-alcohol-and-weed-with-an-adhd-brain/): You’ve decided it’s time to stop drinking, or at least stop leaning on weed to soften the edges. You’ve got willpower, a plan, maybe even a shiny new journal with motivational quotes. But somehow, two days later, you’re staring at an empty wine bottle or wondering why there’s another half-smoked joint in your ashtray. It’s not that you’re weak. It’s not that you lack discipline. It’s your wiring. If you’re neurodivergent,  especially ADHD, but also autistic, dyslexic, dyspraxic, or any combination from the ND cocktail menu,  quitting substances isn’t just hard. It’s like trying to reprogram a brain that’s been running... - [Should You Disclose Your Neurodivergence at Work?](https://readthemesij.com/should-you-disclose-your-neurodivergence-at-work/): Back in the 80s and 90s, there was an unspoken rule at work: the less people knew about you, the better. Your health, your personal struggles, your quirks? Best left off the record. Fast-forward to 2025, and you’d think the world would have evolved. We’ve got hashtags shouting about neurodiversity inclusion, rainbow-coloured HR brochures promising understanding, and LinkedIn posts declaring every company a safe haven for “different” thinkers. Yet, here we are. People are still whispering, second-guessing, and keeping quiet about their ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other ND diagnoses. Why? Because workplaces haven’t caught up with their marketing material. We’re still... - [Why You Seem Autistic But Test Negative](https://readthemesij.com/why-you-seem-autistic-but-test-negative/): Ever met someone and thought, “Oh, they’re definitely autistic”, only for their professional assessment to come back with a polite-but-firm “Nope”? It happens far more often than you’d think, and the reasons are fascinating, frustrating, and occasionally absurd. Let’s talk masking, ADHD imposters, and the curious world of the “almost-autistic”. The Diagnostic Plot Twist Autism assessments are built around strict tick-box criteria. If you don’t hit enough markers in enough areas, the magic stamp of diagnosis doesn’t happen. But that doesn’t mean your lived experience is invalid. Why someone might “seem autistic” but test negative: Unusual fact: Some researchers believe up... - [The Hidden ADHD Anxiety Most Men Don’t See](https://readthemesij.com/the-hidden-adhd-anxiety-most-men-dont-see/): If you’re an ND man, and by ND I mean neurodivergent, and you’ve been living with constant, bone-deep anxiety for years, there’s a good chance it isn’t “just anxiety.” There’s a very real possibility it’s ADHD in disguise. Not the hyperactive schoolboy version you’ve seen on TV. Not the “can’t sit still” stereotype. This is adult ADHD’s quieter, nastier cousin,  the one that fuels a constant mental hum of “I’ve forgotten something”, “I’m behind”, and “something bad’s about to happen”. The worst part? Most men living with it have absolutely no idea it’s ADHD-related. They’ve been told it’s stress. They’ve been... - [ADHD And Taking Things Personally](https://readthemesij.com/adhd-and-taking-things-personally/): Some people can let things roll off their back like water on a duck. Others, like me – are more like a sponge in a puddle. If you so much as flick a comment in our direction, we’ll soak it up, carry it around, and possibly replay it in our heads during a 2 am shower three days later. I’ve been called “the sensitive one” for as long as I can remember. Friends said it with a laugh. Teachers said it with a sigh. Family… well, they just avoided sarcasm unless they wanted tears at the dinner table. For decades, I’d... - [Medical Conditions That Look Just Like ADHD](https://readthemesij.com/medical-conditions-that-look-just-like-adhd/): We’ve all had that moment: you walk into a room and forget why you went in. You can’t concentrate, you interrupt conversations, your brain feels like a browser with 83 tabs open and one playing music, you just can’t find it. But what if it’s not ADHD? Turns out, several medical conditions can look suspiciously like ADHD. Some of them even trick the professionals. So let’s take a tour through the usual suspects, bust the confusion, and help you figure out what’s what. Because before you start questioning your entire personality or ordering brain supplements at 3am, let’s make sure it’s... - [New Language for Autism: What to Say Now](https://readthemesij.com/new-language-for-autism-what-to-say-now/): Let’s face it. The language around autism and neurodivergence is moving faster than a toddler after sugar. One minute you’re nodding along to someone describing their “high-functioning Asperger’s,” and the next, you’ve learned that term went out of fashion quicker than skinny jeans at a Gen Z picnic. But here’s the good news: all these changes? They’re not just fads or internet fluff. They’re part of a much-needed shift towards respect, accuracy and actual inclusion. Still, keeping up with it all can feel a bit like trying to follow the plot of a Christopher Nolan film – backwards, in Klingon, while... - [Seven Types of ADD? Not found in most books](https://readthemesij.com/seven-types-of-add-not-found-in-most-books/): You know that moment when you’re minding your business, scrolling through the internet, and then a post pops up that makes you freeze mid-scroll, mid-toast, and possibly mid-existential crisis? That was me this week. Turns out, there’s not just one type of ADD. Not even two. There are seven. Yes, seven types of attention deficit behaviour, all wreaking havoc in their own uniquely mischievous ways. And before you ask –  no, I haven’t gone rogue or fallen into a Pinterest rabbit hole of wellness woo. This comes from Dr Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist known for his brain imaging work and unorthodox... - [Real Talk: ADHD and Taking Responsibility](https://readthemesij.com/real-talk-adhd-and-taking-responsibility/): ADHD isn’t a moral failing. But it’s not a free pass either. Somewhere along the self-awareness path, we took a wrong turn. Instead of learning how to manage ADHD, many of us have started hiding behind it, blaming every missed deadline, flaked plan, or emotional outburst on our neurodivergence like it’s an invisibility cloak for consequences. And let’s be honest: no one wants to be the villain who says, “That excuse is wearing thin.” But what if we need to say it? What if refusing to hold ourselves accountable is hurting our relationships, stalling our progress, and actually doing the ADHD... - [Autism or Alibi? Late Diagnosis Meets Misconduct](https://readthemesij.com/autism-or-alibi-late-diagnosis-meets-misconduct/): Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever been caught doing something mortifyingly awkward, like laughing at a funeral or emailing your boss the wrong attachment, there’s a tiny part of you that wishes you could say, “Oh, sorry, I’m neurodivergent.” But when exactly does a diagnosis help explain behaviour, and when does it become an escape hatch from accountability? This week, the internet’s been quietly simmering over Gregg Wallace’s recent autism diagnosis, served up alongside a sizzling platter of misconduct allegations. The timing, some argue, is a bit too perfectly plated. So: are we witnessing someone finally understanding themselves? Or just trying... - [Stimming in Adults: The Secret Moves We Make](https://readthemesij.com/stimming-in-adults-the-secret-moves-we-make/): It’s Not Just a Kid Thing: Adults Stim Too (We’re Just Sneakier About It) There’s a funny thing that happens when you grow up with an invisible neurological difference. You either get really good at hiding it… or really good at apologising for it. And when it comes to stimming, those self-stimulatory behaviours that help regulate emotions, focus and sensory input – the world tends to assume it’s strictly a childhood thing. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Adult stimming is alive, well, and usually happening under the table, behind closed doors, or disguised as a quirky little “habit.” But make no mistake,... - [ND Diagnosis Delays: Why Are Adults Still Waiting?](https://readthemesij.com/nd-diagnosis-delays-why-are-adults-still-waiting/): We can detect a planet wobbling in deep space, but we still can’t diagnose ADHD in under a year? If you’ve ever tried to get assessed for ADHD, autism, or any neurodivergent profile, you already know the feeling. The waiting room doesn’t start at the clinic,it starts somewhere in the pits of bureaucracy, red tape, and half-baked systems. Ask anyone on this wild ride and they’ll tell you: “It took years. YEARS. And it nearly broke me.” Despite rising awareness, modern tools, and TikTok giving the world a crash course in executive dysfunction, getting an actual diagnosis still feels like trying... - [10 Neurodivergent-Friendly AI Therapy & Support Apps](https://readthemesij.com/neurodivergent-friendly-ai-therapy-support-apps/): For many neurodivergent folks, traditional therapy isn’t always the right fit. Long waitlists, awkward phone calls, and the fear of being misunderstood can make support feel miles away. That’s where AI therapy tools come in. Available anytime, they offer low-pressure, stigma-free space to explore your thoughts. Whether you need help untangling anxious spirals, tracking moods, or practising self-guided CBT, these apps provide structured support at your pace, without the small talk or fluorescent lighting. 1. Cogs AI Designed by neurodivergent individuals, Cogs AI offers tools to identify burnout signs, track daily stressors, and build personalized self-care routines. It includes features like... - [Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honour](https://readthemesij.com/burnout-isnt-a-badge-of-honour/): Hustle Harder? I’d Rather Nap, Thanks. Everywhere you turn, someone’s preaching the gospel of the grind. From Instagram reels to overpriced hardbacks by men named Chad, we’re told success only comes to those who sacrifice sleep, sanity and probably their spinal discs. Apparently, if you’re not running on three hours of kip and black coffee, you’re simply not trying hard enough. But here’s the thing: I’m not buying it. And neither should you. Who Decided Burnout Was Aspirational? Somewhere along the line, our culture took a wrong turn. Instead of celebrating productivity with balance, we started idolising exhaustion. We began applauding... - [Does Neurodivergence Attract Autoimmune Mayhem?](https://readthemesij.com/does-neurodivergence-attract-autoimmune-mayhem/): Ever felt like your brain and your body were plotting a joint rebellion? You might not be wrong. More and more people are reporting a double whammy: they’re neurodivergent and dealing with autoimmune battles – psoriasis, fibromyalgia, eczema, even mysterious aches that doctors shrug off with a “Try yoga?” There’s smoke here, darling, and we’re about to sniff out the fire. What Counts as Autoimmune, and Why Should ND Folks Care? Autoimmune conditions are, in essence, your body throwing a dramatic fit – mistaking friendly tissues for enemy invaders. Think immune system in a spin cycle. What’s fascinating is the growing... - [The Toll of Late Diagnosis: Epilepsy at 45](https://readthemesij.com/the-toll-of-late-diagnosis-epilepsy-at-45/): What Does Epilepsy Have to Do with Neurodivergence? Before we get stuck into the grief, rage and oddly satisfying relief that comes with a late diagnosis, let’s clear something up: yes, epilepsy is a neurodivergent condition. It’s not just about seizures or flashing lights in films (although, yes, those can be dangerous triggers). Epilepsy is a complex neurological disorder that affects the brain’s electrical activity. For many, it impacts memory, mood regulation, cognitive processing, energy levels, emotional stability, and in some cases, even speech or sensory perception. In short: it can reshape how we think, feel, and engage with the world.... - [Hyperfocus: The Gift You Keep Calling a Problem](https://readthemesij.com/hyperfocus-the-gift-you-keep-calling-a-problem/): not just a fancy word for cramming You know that thing where someone becomes obsessed, can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t shut up about it? That’s not a phase. That’s hyperfocus. And it’s not some flaky, all-or-nothing party trick. It’s one of the most misunderstood and misused aspects of the neurodivergent brain. I’ve had a good portion in my younger life being told I’m lazy. A last-minute miracle merchant. You know the type. And yet, somehow, I’ve managed to pull off projects that earn praise, meet deadlines I had no business meeting, and occasionally deliver a flash of brilliance that makes me... - [Neurodivergent Love: Why Support Isn’t Obvious](https://readthemesij.com/neurodivergent-love-why-support-isnt-obvious/): Ever wondered why your neurodivergent partner just… sits there while you’re crying in the kitchen? Not a hug. Not a tissue. Not even a “Do you want a cuppa?” It’s not heartlessness. It’s not apathy. It’s brain wires doing the electric slide in a house with no lights on. Welcome to the often misunderstood world of ND relationships, where love is real but initiative is a no-show. Executive Dysfunction: When Support Gets Stuck in Traffic Imagine trying to leave the house, but your coat is in the dryer, your keys are under the cat, and your brain insists now is the... - [Sex, ADHD, And Everything Else](https://readthemesij.com/sex-adhd-and-everything-else/): Let’s be real, no one ever sits you down after a neurodivergent diagnosis and says, “By the way, your relationship with sex might get weird.” Whether it’s hypersexuality, hyposexuality, or a confusing cocktail of both, sexuality and ND wiring can be a messy mix. And to make it even murkier? People love to throw labels like “narcissist,” “addict,” or “frigid” without even asking what’s going on beneath the surface. Here’s the good, the uncomfortable, and the stuff nobody posts about on Instagram. Is there a link between ADHD and sexual behaviour? Yes. And it’s not one-size-fits-all. ADHD doesn’t just affect focus... - [Under The Neurodivergent Umbrella](https://readthemesij.com/under-the-neurodivergent-umbrella/): When most people hear “neurodiversity,” their minds jump straight to autism or ADHD – and then stop there. But the neurodivergent umbrella is much broader (and more colourful) than that. There’s a whole constellation of lesser-known conditions, like ARFID, encopresis, and even premature thelarche, that can quietly shape a child’s experience without ever making it into mainstream conversations. I’m writing this not to overwhelm, but to open up the lens. To help parents, educators, and ND folks themselves spot the overlooked patterns and say, “Oh wait… that’s a thing?” Because sometimes, understanding starts with simply having the language for what’s always... - [Should You Medicate Your ADHD Kid? ](https://readthemesij.com/should-you-medicate-your-adhd-kid/): A guide for parents in the grey zone When my friend’s kid got diagnosed with ADHD, she rang me in a panic. “They say meds help, but what if I turn him into a zombie?” she said. “Also, what if I don’t medicate, and he can’t focus at all?” She’s not alone. Loads of us grew up undiagnosed, only to find ourselves parenting kids with the same squiggly wiring. Now we’re the adults expected to make “evidence-based decisions.” Ironic, really. Especially when the evidence is confusing, and your gut is full of dread. So… No guilt, no judgement. Just the truth,... - [Parenting While Neurodivergent](https://readthemesij.com/parenting-while-neurodivergent/): When Your Kids Don’t Come With Matching Brain Settings Parenting is hard. Parenting while neurodivergent? That’s a whole different game. One where the rules are unclear, the pieces are missing, and the board keeps flipping mid-play. I recently read a Reddit post that hit me square in the feels. An autistic mum shared her struggle: she had two children—one autistic like her, the other neurotypical. The neurotypical child, she said, knew exactly how to push her buttons. She found herself retreating with her autistic child, seeking solace in shared understanding, while feeling overwhelmed and alienated from her neurotypical child. It got... - [How To Stop Oversharing And Interrupting](https://readthemesij.com/how-to-stop-oversharing-and-interrupting/): Introduction Ever had to physically clamp your hand over your mouth to stop the words from tumbling out? Welcome to the inner circus of the neurodivergent brain, where thoughts gallop, opinions leap, and silence feels like betrayal. I get it. I’m that woman. I’ve sat in meetings, family dinners, and WhatsApp groups, desperate to throw in my two-pence piece or ten. Not because I love the sound of my own voice (although I won’t deny it’s got charm), but because I feel things deeply. When something seems off, my soul starts a protest march with placards saying, “Speak now, or forever... - [What Even Is Neurodiversity? (Brilliant Brain?)](https://readthemesij.com/what-even-is-neurodiversity-brilliant-brain/): Once upon a time, if your brain didn’t work like the person sitting next to you, they called it a disorder and sent you to the quiet table. But the world has moved on. Neurodiversity is the idea that brain differences are natural, valuable, and not always problems to be fixed. Think of it like biodiversity, but for brains. The world needs bees and bats and belugas, right? Same goes for people who think in tangents, hyperfocus, repeat routines, or feel everything at 200% intensity. This guide is your friendly, non-overwhelming tour through the kinds of brains that fall under the... - [11 People To Dodge Like Your Energy Depends On It](https://readthemesij.com/11-people-to-dodge-like-your-energy-depends-on-it/): Let’s talk about emotional vampires. No garlic or silver bullets needed—just some solid boundaries and a working sense of self-worth. These are the folks who sneak into your energy field, mess with your head, and call it friendship. Here’s the updated line-up of people I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) to avoid. Wheelbarrow people These ones? You have to drag them. Not just once, but always. They never move unless you push. Their favourite hobby is outsourcing responsibility—to you. Their chaos becomes your calendar. They’re all take, zero give, and somehow make their laziness your moral obligation. They’ll have you burned... - [Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: RSD Pain](https://readthemesij.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd-pain/): I once cried over an email. Not a breakup email. Not a redundancy notice. Just a colleague asking, “Can we chat later?” My brain translated that into: “You’ve messed up, and we need to talk about your incompetence.” Cue spiralling thoughts, a racing heart, and a sudden urge to delete my LinkedIn profile. If that sounds familiar, you might be dealing with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s not just being “a bit sensitive.” It’s a full-body, emotional landslide triggered by perceived rejection or criticism—even when none was intended. What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional... - [So I Think I'm Neurodivergent… Now What?](https://readthemesij.com/so-i-think-im-neurodivergent-now-what/): It started with me Googling “Why do I hate phone calls but can write essays about my feelings?” And then, three hours later, I was deep in a Reddit thread where everyone seemed to have my brain. It was like being spotted in a crowd by a stranger who just gets you. No test. No doctor. Just vibes, and a growing suspicion that maybe, just maybe, I’m not neurotypical. Why self-identification is rising among neurodiverse adults Let’s be honest. Getting an official diagnosis for anything brain-related is like trying to get a unicorn to sign your medical forms. Appointments are backed... - [Neurodivergent Life Admin That Actually Works](https://readthemesij.com/neurodivergent-life-admin-that-actually-works/): I’m Not Disorganised, My Brain’s Just Full What Is Life Admin and Why Does It Break Our Brains? Life admin, the boring but necessary tasks that keep us functioning: bills, forms, appointments, cleaning, emails, laundry, birthday cards. For the neurotypical brain, it’s a mild inconvenience. For the neurodivergent brain, it can feel like drowning in paper cuts. Executive dysfunction, time blindness, task paralysis and sensory overwhelm all conspire to make life admin a form of torture. But you’re not lazy, and you’re not broken. The standard systems just aren’t made for your wiring. Here’s how to build your own. Step 1:... - [15 Ways Humans Love to Explain Things](https://readthemesij.com/15-ways-humans-love-to-explain-things/): Ever asked someone a simple question and received a three-part novel in return? Or found yourself nodding politely while someone explained something you literally teach for a living? Welcome to the wonderful (and sometimes wildly annoying) world of explaining – where clarity meets comedy, and intention often misses the mark by a mile. Whether it’s heartfelt, helpful, or horrendously condescending, here’s your illustrated guide to 15 gloriously human types of explaining and a few cheeky thoughts on what each one really means. 1. Explaining (Plain old garden variety) Definition: Simply telling someone how or why something works or happened.Example:You ask, “How... - [The Conversation about Understanding Andropause](https://readthemesij.com/the-conversation-about-understanding-andropause/): Alright fellas, and those who love them! Pull up a chair. We need to talk about something that rarely gets airtime at the pub or over a roast: Andropause. Before you roll your eyes and mutter “sounds made up,” hear me out. This isn’t a lecture. It’s more like a friendly heads-up from someone who’s watched more than a few men hit midlife like a speed bump in a sports car. What Is Andropause, Exactly? You’ve heard of menopause, everyone and their nan talks about it. But did you know there’s a male equivalent? It’s called andropause, or as I prefer... - [Supplements Every Man Needs (But Likely Skipping)](https://readthemesij.com/supplements-every-man-needs-but-likely-skipping/): Age Like Fine Wine Ever noticed how men, much like old furniture, get creaky with age? While women are publicly ushered into the menopausal hall of fame, men quietly tiptoe into their own hormonal decline, socks and all. Let’s call it what it is: andropause. Yes, it’s real. No, it’s not an excuse to skip leg day. Now before you huff, “Men and women are different!” yes, we are. But let’s not forget both bodies are finely-tuned hormonal ecosystems. And like any decent engine, when a few nutrients run dry, the whole system starts knocking. Let’s break down the supplements men... - [Ghosting Hurts—But It’s Not About You](https://readthemesij.com/ghosting-hurts-but-its-not-about-you/): Let’s talk about ghosting. Because apparently, it’s 2025’s preferred form of communication, silence. Whether it’s in love, friendship, or business, we’ve all had that one person go full Houdini on us. One minute they’re replying with heart emojis, the next… tumbleweed. Now, let’s be clear: ghosting is not new. But the frequency with which it happens these days? Off the charts. It’s become the emotional equivalent of leaving someone on read, except you’re left staring into the abyss of “last seen 3 days ago” wondering if you imagined the whole connection. And yes, while I’ve dipped a toe into ghosting waters... - [So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur? Hmm](https://readthemesij.com/so-you-want-to-be-an-entrepreneur-hmm/): People love to romanticise entrepreneurship like it’s a scented candle: light it up, breathe in the success, and boom, you’re rich, tanned, and sipping something expensive in Bali. Lovely image, but wildly inaccurate. Let me tell you the truth, from someone who’s been doing this dance for years—I’m talking about the cha-cha, the hustle, the electric slide of turning ideas into businesses, time and time again. You see, I’ve always been a bit of a serial starter. I can spot a gap, download a divine idea, research the life out of it (which I actually enjoy), and get something moving quicker... - [Semantic Abuse – The Wordplay Weapon](https://readthemesij.com/semantic-abuse-the-wordplay-weapon/): What is Semantic Abuse? Semantic abuse is like verbal origami, someone folds your words until they resemble something you never said. It’s a subtle manipulation tactic where meanings are twisted, your statements are rephrased inaccurately, and conversations become a game of distorted definitions. Unlike shouting matches, this happens quietly, in plain English, which makes it harder to spot. Is It a Form of Gaslighting?   In a word – yes, but it’s the intellectual cousin. While gaslighting makes you question your memory, semantic abuse targets your words. You might say, “I need space,” and they’ll reply, “So you’re abandoning me.” See the... - [Vaginal Changes During The Perimenopause](https://readthemesij.com/vaginal-changes-during-the-perimenopause/): So, there I was, cruising through perimenopause, thinking, “It can’t be that bad, right?” I mean, I’d heard about the hot flushes, the mood swings (those are just a Tuesday for me, honestly), and perhaps the odd bit of brain fog. But then I came across some new companions on this middle-aged journey: vaginal atrophy, clitoral atrophy, and—oh joy—interstitial cystitis. Oh yes, perimenopause is the gift that keeps on giving! Let’s look into these issues, shall we? But don’t worry, I’ll keep it as light-hearted as one can be when discussing our lady bits behaving like they’ve been cursed by a... - [The Reality Of Losing Your Job Later In Life](https://readthemesij.com/the-reality-of-losing-your-job-later-in-life/): I remember losing my job the way you remember your first heartbreak — with a sharp, involuntary wince and a quiet, lingering ache that sneaks up when you least expect it. One minute I was someone with a nameplate on an office door, a pension plan, and a polite nod from the barista who knew my “usual.” The next, I was just another face in the crowd, clutching a cardboard box and wondering how the hell it had all unravelled so quickly. At first, it’s pure dread. Like standing in a darkened room, fumbling for a light switch that isn’t there.... - [My Perspective On Namaste Narcissists ](https://readthemesij.com/my-perspective-on-namaste-narcissists/): The Dark Side of Lightworkers – When ‘High Vibe’ Becomes Highly Problematic Ah, spirituality. Once the sacred path of monks, mystics and wise old souls, now sometimes looking more like a glitter-drenched game of emotional dodgeball on Instagram. You’ve seen them. The “goddess of alignment,” the “soul-led coach,” or the “shaman” who got their certification via a Zoom weekend and now speaks in soundbites like, “If you feel triggered, that’s your low vibration showing.” But here’s the question tickling everyone’s third eye: Why do the people who say they’re the most spiritually enlightened often seem the most emotionally chaotic, wildly egotistical,... ## Pages - [Terms, Conditions, & Acronyms Decoded](https://readthemesij.com/terms-conditions-and-acronyms-decoded/): Because if one more person asks what “AuDHD” means, we might start throwing pens. What Neurodivergence Actually Is (and Isn’t) Let’s clear something up, being neurodivergent doesn’t mean you’re broken, dangerous, or “not trying hard enough.” It means your brain operates differently from the so-called “neurotypical” norm. You’re not wired wrong, you’re just wired wonderfully otherwise. The term neurodivergent (ND) was coined to honour natural brain diversity, just as biodiversity celebrates different plants and creatures. Like any ecosystem, when you lose diversity, everything starts to crumble. While autism and ADHD are the most recognised conditions, the ND umbrella covers much more:... - [About Us](https://readthemesij.com/about-us/): Hi, I’m Mesino. I’m a British writer living in Greece, a wife, mother, observer of people, and someone who spends far too much time asking questions that rarely seem to have straightforward answers. The Mesij began as a simple blog, but over time it evolved into something much more personal. It became a place where I could explore the realities of neurodivergent life, midlife, relationships, menopause, parenting, work, identity, and the many situations that don’t fit neatly into a category. Like most worthwhile conversations, the topics often start in one place and end somewhere completely different. I am not a clinician,... - [404 The Mesij](https://readthemesij.com/404-the-mesij/) - [Privacy Policy](https://readthemesij.com/privacy-policy/): Who we are Our website address is: https://readthemesij.com. Comments When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection. An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment. Media If you upload images to the... ## Optional - [Agent (MCP protocol)](websites-agents.hostinger.com/readthemesij.com/mcp) [comment]: # (Generated by Hostinger Tools Plugin)